Moving Forward in the Spiritual Life

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"Is This All There Is? Spirituality for the Long Haul", "Moving Forward in the Spiritual Life"

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And you don't want me sleeping. So I brought a couple other books, and I'll leave you for your perusal. This first one is called Reading to Live. Its subtitle is The Evolving Practice of Lectio Divina. This is by a Benedictine monk, a friend of mine from St. Meinrad's, and he teaches at the Catholic University, Ray Stasinski. This book has more of a scholarly and historical bent to it. There are sections that are kind of tracing the historical roots of the process of Lectio, including the desert tradition, which we're interested in, and the latter half of the last chapter is the revival of the practice. The practice of Lectio really came back and came to life again after the Second Vatican

[01:03]

Council. There were centuries where it was just sort of not a very active practice anymore. So this is a useful book. And this one, The Monastic Way, Ancient Wisdom for Contemporary Living, it's a book of daily readings. So there are plenty of these books around. Joan Chidester, another great Benedictine author, has a couple of these. The benefit of books like this is that they have just like a short reading for each day. So when you're cramped for time and everything, you can find at least time to read a paragraph or something. And this book in particular quotes some really fine people. So that includes desert tradition, contemporary writers. I think we're even in here somewhere, something from our website was quoted at some point.

[02:05]

And also the nice thing about these books is that for each quote, it tells you where you can find the original source in the back. So if you run across someone who says something you're interested in, you can follow up with that. So that's a real benefit of this book. And again, Amazon will have these, or another place to look for these is the website called ABE.com. Do you know that? It's the one for used books. And also Eighth Day Books, which if you don't know about, is just the world's best bookstore for all forms of Christian literature, going way back to all the patristics. You know, the guy who owns it is a really devout Lebanese Orthodox guy who lives in Wichita. That's Kansas. They occupy this great big old Dutch gambrel house.

[03:07]

He's got books stacked all the way to the very top of the attic, but they do send books via the internet. What's it called? Eighth Day Books. Eighth Day. Like the seventh day and the eighth day. Is it spelled out? It's spelled out. Yeah. And they've been in business for years, like 20 years. And he keeps it going by driving around the country with his old white van, hauling several thousand books to conferences where there's going to be a lot of, and he's just an amazing guy. But you can buy online from him too. Good. Then two other books. This is a wonderful classic book published by Liturgical Press, Purity of Heart in the Early Ascetic and Monastic Literature. So since what we're talking about, returning to the roots of the desert tradition, this is an edited book in honor of a Benedictine nun who had great interest in this. And John Cashin, one of the early desert fathers, said that we work toward achieving purity

[04:27]

of heart so that we can get to heaven, see the face of God, encounter God, however you want to put that. So this is the path to purity of heart. When later writers talk about purgation, purifying, well, they're talking about this, and I think purity of heart resonates more with people than purgative ways, certainly for me. And then the last book is one by a bunch of us called The Privilege of Love about Camaldo Lis Benedictine Spirituality. And so we have both American and Italians who have written chapters in this book. So you may wonder, well, what's the difference between if I'm sort of new or further along

[05:34]

in terms of time? The point I would make is that these are the kind of books that you would want to read and reread, and they will have a different meaning for you when you read them a second or a third time. What's the commercial for Kellogg's Corn Flakes? They say, try it again for the first time. So to pick these books up after a period of years, this is one of the ways in which you will have a marker for yourself as you read these things and reflect on these things a second and a third time. You'll see that you're picking up things that you hadn't picked up the first time, in fact that you couldn't have picked up the first time. And so this rereading and revisiting these relatively contemporary texts that also include

[06:39]

references to the ancient texts can be really helpful. So again, I'll leave those here for you to look at. Okay. And I just wanted to pick up sort of where we left off the last time around where I think at least I felt like I walked out the door having implied that somehow Bede's life was so much easier than mine because he doesn't have to beat traffic to get to Mass and all that kind of stuff. And he assured me he didn't feel like I was saying that, but I felt like I was, and so I wanted to... But I was thinking about what your peculiar challenges are that I don't have to face. And I think aside from the ones I mentioned already, it could be easy to fall into because of the sameness of the pattern. Boredom, plain old boredom or something deeper, you know, a genuine just kind of death of the soul. You're the way of, you know, sense of not lacking or somehow lacking an exciting challenge.

[07:47]

You're definitely in the midst of challenges, but you know what those are, and so they lose some of the pizzazz, you know. True enough. I assume that part of the challenge would be, you know, anybody in the celibate life would face, which is loneliness sometimes for the intimacy of one partner, you know, which is something I don't have to think too much about. That's just there in my life, sometimes highly irritating form, but at least it's there, you know. And I would think that would be a struggle at times for people inside the monastery. And I'm, you know, I'm guessing that probably sometimes the stability can become chafing. Like maybe you always wanted to go to Bora Bora, but you can't figure out a good monastic reason to go there. Not yet, not yet. Or maybe you just feel like putting on a dinner party for your old high school buddies, you know.

[08:49]

That's pretty hard to do here. Or just even taking a day off from the routine that's not a designated desert day, you know. We have complete control in that sense over our, I mean, given whatever obligations we have to meet, we can cut our own deals with ourselves about what we're going to do that day. So I thought, okay, in that life, here's where we can come in as a help on your end. You are more and more realizing that it's really important for all of us that you keep doing what you're doing and that this place stays in business and operating because we come here all desperate. But I remember having this great conversation one time with Arthur. Some of you know Arthur, who's stationed up at Berkeley, in the Berkeley house. And I was one of the pilgrims in Italy with Arthur and Andrew, and we were chatting one night about this.

[09:51]

We were having this conversation, basically. And they were saying, well, you know, we're great. We both had community and we had to deal with community. And finally, Arthur said, well, at least I don't have to sleep with my community at night. He also said something I thought was so, I never forgot it. He said there was a time, I guess he had been living here for a while, and there was a time when landslides closed both roads, going both ways. And it was a long spell, some really long spell, like six weeks or something. And there was a car that had come back from somewhere that was parked on the other side of the landslide so someone could clamber over the top to get out and get supplies. But basically, everyone was stuck here for that period of time and no visitors could come. Obviously, they weren't going to have them clamber over the top of the landslide. And he said, at first, all the monks were thrilled.

[10:53]

Don't have to deal with that crowd for a while, blah, blah, blah. And then he said, after about two and a half weeks, he found himself coming downstairs to the, or coming to the factory for breakfast and looking around and thinking, you again. So, I think that maybe what we can help cart into this place is our very drama. Which is different than yours. And just, you know, kind of a breath of the world and contemporary with what's going on out there. Not that you're not in touch to a certain degree with that. But I think, I remember having these long conversations with Father Bernard as we would walk down the mountain at night. And he had all sorts of questions about what was happening out there and who was doing what. I could tell him about that. So, I think it's a way maybe to relieve the tedium at times.

[11:55]

I hope you feel that way. I look forward to meeting him. Well, anyway, I hope that balances out what a pain we can probably be too. So, anyway, we are going to move to this little project now. Right. I'm sure once we, I'll read these out loud and then I'll actually just go up there and then I'll ask for some of you. You probably have better handwriting than I do. Maybe people can just kind of shout out some of the other themes, words, phrases, or questions so that we can process some of these here. So, new forms, new monastic forms. That really is a big theme. How do people want to live out the monastic life? One of our oblates, Julian Collette, he did his master's degree on exploring the new forms of monastic life.

[12:56]

Certainly, the Beausé community would be considered that, even though it's some decades old. But still, it's a new form of that. And this would be one of the things that came through in the assembly, wasn't it? This notion that how do those especially committed to the monastic way through their oblation, how does that get lived out? So, we can talk a bit about that. I think that's the name of his website, Emerging Communities? I think EmergingCommunities.com. Actually, it's called Beausé. B-O-S-E. Oh, okay. Yeah. They pronounce it the Italian way with the emphasis on... Okay, I hadn't heard of that. Yeah. Right. And so, that's where Enzo Bianchi, that book that was... Yeah, I know. It's still the echoes of the word.

[13:57]

It's not even just a desire for community, is it? It's sometimes a desperate need or its desire in its fullest sense. Our history here at New Commodity, when it was first founded in the late 1950s, there was a very strong emphasis on the solitude and the reclusion, the living separately. It seems while we still very much value the solitude that we have, it seems that in these days there is this greater need to be present to those who come here and to find a way for us to go out and share... How do I want to put this? I would say that it's a way of us saying that we know the kind of thing you're looking for

[15:01]

and we want to support you in that journey. Whether you're here or we go out there for talks. So, the building and sustaining of a community where this can be the heart of it, but it really does spread. Even a number of you have mentioned in these days how one of you has been here but then you brought a friend because you wanted someone else to have an experience of this place. So, that really is how many people come to find this place. Janet, you brought Paula, right? And Peter Damien, who was a monk here, he brought me here. So, that's often the way that it works. Often the way that it works. Do you want to say something about that communal aspect? Well, of course, we in San Luis County have a fairly large number of outlets because we're only two hours away from here.

[16:01]

So, over the years we have had a kind of formal structure for that and a regular meeting, you know, trying to meet like every three months at the beginning. We were trying to meet every three months and have a full day of retreat asking one of the monks to come down and lead it. We would have mass for that and a great big kind of feast together. It was good. We are many cooks down there. And then what we found is, you know, those kind of groups have to go through their own growth stages and some of those stages are painful. And we got to the point where everyone was so on fire that we were drawing more weight than we could bear at that point. And there were a lot of people coming to our group who had never even been here. So, it was hard for us to convey to them what we were feeding from because they had never been here. But, having said that, you know, and having gone through some painful things with that group,

[17:06]

it's still alive. We're doing it in a more low-key way now. But it has once again begun to grow. You know, it just can't help but attract people because of what it's about. And I know there are other groups around, at least in California and, of course, in Australia and New Zealand. That's where Fr. Daniel just came back from visiting. And, in fact, there, I think there's only one person in that group who's ever been to New Camongoli. They found it on their own and they fell in love with the spirituality. When I was on pilgrimage in England with Deborah, Douglas and Fr. Robert, we met an Adelaide who had never been here and who had found this online and started studying and reading for a couple of years and became an Adelaide and was hoping to come here someday. So, it's real interesting how this all happened. So, those that have the chance to be here, it's a wonderful thing compared to those that don't. Yes, yes. We lived in Southern California.

[18:10]

You came to our group. Right. And Carol, you brought Carol along and now she's here. That's right. Yeah, down in Orange County area. In Newport. Newport, that's right. Also, I've done some in Pasadena. San Juan Capistrano, I think, is where we were. Yeah, I came down to San Juan Capistrano. And there were two, I think two or three Adelaide's that day that you, I don't know if you say final initiated? We received their outlays. That's how we put that, yeah. And then up in the Capitola area, too, as well. Yeah, Wendy. Well, that's what I was going to say, the Capitola area. We had similar quiet days and then the desire was there but the attendance wasn't there. Yeah. And so, it's kind of gone. Cyprian offered to come fairly soon. Next month, isn't he? I think it's going to be next month. He's our new prior. So, for those in the long haul, I think initially you can be reading and studying on your own,

[19:21]

but I think what becomes necessary in the long haul is some kind of community. Rather than this kind of movement to an aromatic, isolated way of living, I think that there is a greater need and desire for community from a couple of perspectives. One is that the power of God is always an overflowing sort of thing. So, it's something that we want to share and bring to others at some level. And also, as we continue our own inner work and our own journeys, we just know we need the help. There's a great phrase in men's monastic communities that we do things with the help of many brothers. That we become aware that it's just, you know, can't do it alone. That we need the help with other people.

[20:24]

And there's a line that we use for our reception of oblates, and it's also used whenever a monk makes his vows. The superior asks the assembled community, will you help this person? That's a part of the oblation. That's a part of the vows. And the answer is always, we will, with God's help. So, that brings God into the equation as well. So, we sustain ourselves through efforts to maintain and to build extended communities, I think. That's an important part of it. And I was going to add, our community in Santa Louis, a couple of years ago, went through the death of one of our members together. And that was really something, Margaret Joy Granger, who had actually founded the group. She was in her 80s when she died. We were a very big part of her whole last journey.

[21:26]

And that, I think, was a tie of work for a lot of us. You know, these ties, which sometimes seem tenuous, are very deep. When it came right down to it, we were her family, really, when she was dying. Yeah. Yeah, I was thinking, too, after we talked last time, that in a weird way, we who are trying to do this outside the walls of the monastery, are kind of having to live an idio-rhythmic life. Yes. Which has not been a huge part of Western monasticism. Do you all know what that is? I know you're going to ask me to stop. You have to stop the question. I think it's not. You notice it's the same as Indian. I believe that. And it's been much more part of Eastern Orthodox monasticism than Western sense about the words we've made.

[22:29]

But it means that you are kind of on your own. You're trying to follow this contemplative lifestyle. You may be a full-on hermit, or you might be in a seat of some kind, where there's just a looser gathering. You're not living together under one enclosed space. And you really have to work it out, how you're going to live this life. And I think that's kind of what we're stuck with. And yet, even in that lifestyle, there were definite times of connection with other people because you meet your fellow travelers on the path. Yes? I'd just like to throw in, besides the lack of community, perhaps, depending on where you are, there is what I'll call a secular bombardment. If you live out there, if you live off this hill, you can't help but be constantly inundated.

[23:32]

Your sensory systems are totally inundated with everything that's going on in the secular world, which, at my ripe old age, I'm starting to think is becoming less and less religious. So that goes with that in a big way. Besides not having, perhaps, a support system around you, you also have to deal with all this other stuff that's coming at you. That's some polite words I use for it. Yeah, no, it's true. And I think that irony is the deeper you go into the contemplative mode, the more it rattles you. You get hypersensitized to it because you've learned to love silence and solitude. And so it's extra tough to be thrust back into that. You know, I think my worst nightmare is being forced to walk down the street in Las Vegas, which I had to do recently when I was traveling.

[24:33]

You know, one of the things I think, not necessarily a cure, but a bit of an anecdote, is to pay attention to finding a way to live out the liturgical year of the Church. So I believe it was this morning during the prayers of the faithful that Cyprian said, you know, this year is coming to an end. See, the year ends Sunday, as far as we're concerned. Actually, that's the last Sunday of the year. And so a week from today, First Vespers will be the first Vespers of Advent. And so that's the beginning of the year for the Church. And I think it's one of the most difficult seasons to celebrate because it's already Christmas every place, right? You know, every time you turn. Yeah, yeah, since Labor Day. But, you know, to pay attention to that,

[25:40]

for example, if you attend to these things, the readings during ordinary time are now getting towards the end, the end times, apocalyptic in some way. And that's actually just how Advent begins. It isn't until the 17th that we start really looking toward the remembrance of the coming of Christ. But the first half of Advent is all about being alert, awake, prepared for the final coming. So there's kind of a blending. But it's a new beginning. And the readings are, especially so many of them from Isaiah, it's especially rich. So if you have a missal or if you have access to the website universalis.com or those booklets like Magnificat or Give Us This Day. Again, it's just, and some of those will have a little paragraph

[26:40]

just to kind of help anchor. And there are, well, I'll bring a couple of those before the four o'clock session. Just some interesting books that can be read during Advent to help you kind of maintain the spirit of vigilance and waiting and waking up and being alert, which are some of those real themes. Yeah. One of the ways that you sort of answered the second half of our question, you know, we live separately, how do we feel like a community. And then we come here, and most of it is silent. So you see your buddies and you meet them in the bookstore. But it's kind of a paradox, I guess, in a way, that we come here as a community, but most of the environment is silent. So that was just, you know, something that was interesting. Right. But the other thing is I've been, not as faithfully lately, but there was a time when I very faithfully did the lots and the best

[27:43]

first most days because the readings are all on the website, so you can get, you know, know exactly what's going on. And that really meant and continues to mean a lot to me to be with not only the monks in Camaldoli, but all over the world, you know, because these are the same prayers that are prayed, you know, every day. And I remember you saying once, if you don't mind me paraphrasing you, just when you're kind of ready for a change, Advent comes. Yeah. You know, and so those readings are completely different, and those prayers are different. And so you do Advent, and as you get to, you know, know the seasons, you know, that Advent means even more, you know, than go back to ordinary time and lend us something different. So that is a way to, for me, because belonging is so important to me, to every day feel that kind of belonging with everybody here in Australia.

[28:44]

Yeah. Yeah, that's why it's called the Prayer of the Church, the Liturgy of the Hours, you know, because it's, you know, everyone is doing some version of it, you know, beginning their day, ending their day with it. So I guess, you know, we've been talking about this notion of the patience with the process of change. Patience is a very big monastic virtue. People talk about things getting accomplished in real time and then in monastic time. Things, that's often the case when people are new to our life or when new employees come, you know, they expect, because most every place, you know, oh, that's a good idea, we'll put that in. Oh, that's a good idea. Well, so we'll think about that. We don't meet again for another two weeks, so, you know, that sort of thing,

[29:46]

which is, I don't know if it's good or bad, but it is just the way that it is. So approaching things more slowly, it has its benefits and its drawbacks. But this, you know, and we're going to give you at the end here a letter that Teilhard de Chardin wrote to someone where he's encouraging, you know, patience in the midst of the slow working of God in our lives. And it's a lovely letter, and I happened to run across it. We were just talking about it, and I remember I just saw it yesterday when I was going through my file, so we'll have that for you. So, go ahead. Yeah, I was just going to say on that note, we already said this last session, but just to emphasize it again, that so many of the things that are going on in this are almost silent. It's kind of like your health of your body.

[30:48]

You know, you don't notice your body too much until it's not working right, but as long as everything's working, you know, you're not so aware of all the processes that are going on. And so for me, I find it's really helpful to do a little memory exercise and imagine myself in whatever situation I'm in at the age of 40, you know, or 25, or whatever, and I guess because of being a writer, I have a pretty good memory, so I can actually visualize myself and how I would be in there, and it's so clear right away, you know, that something's changed. On the other hand, Michael Casey, one of the writers we were recommending to you who's been a monk for a million years in Australia, he says, ah, ah, ah, everyone just gets older and they get better because they lose people. And Socrates said how wonderful to be released from all those demented masters, you know, getting old.

[31:49]

So I think it's a combination of, you know, several things that gets us to that place. But I do know if I continued on the path that I was on at those ages and not found this place and not had my whole vision shifted, I'm sure that life would be a lot different right now than it is. So looking backwards is a great help when you begin to feel impatient about the slowness of the changes. It's a really good thing to do. Yeah, remembering, you know, which is such a strong, especially in the Hebrew scriptures, you hear that word and that phrase so often. So, you know, taking time to pause and to reflect and to remember. Certainly for me and for many other people, whatever experiences we have that are experiences of God or of the Lord or however, you know, we phrase that,

[32:50]

we normally just, they don't happen again in the same way. And when people are spending their time pining for the return of something like that or seeking out that same kind of experience, you know, forget it. It's not, I mean, that isn't how God works. I know one woman who had some very profound experiences and she's not been able to get over the fact that she hasn't had those again and that she probably never will. She cannot get over it, which is unfortunate for her. It's an almanac that Mother Teresa mentioned in her hour by hour. Right, right, right. So you have to remember things, you know, when things you remember and you understand it in different ways. And it's not as though that, you know, God is a tightwad, you know, but it's the different kind of revelation that comes.

[33:51]

And, you know, certainly in my life it's been in the small, almost indistinguishable things over time. So like a good practice, you know, I was raised in the beginning, prior to the Vatican Council. So, you know, we were, you know, as a young boy living in fear of hell was just very common. So you're supposed to think of all the terrible things you did before you went to bed and then, you know, beg forgiveness so you wouldn't die and go to hell during the night. So that's not really the best way to end an evening. So a different kind of exam that I recommend is, you know, so where did I encounter God today? You know, where did I see a piece of the kingdom being more manifest? And how was I responsive to that?

[34:55]

Or even if I wasn't, now I can be a little more aware of those sorts of things. And I think it's especially hard because, you know, this group I'm sure are all avid readers. So you read these incredible people, you know, and then you have it in your head how it's supposed to work, or some idea that there are these stages you're supposed to go through along the way, and so then you get concerned that it doesn't seem like anything's happening. But it's that business of not just remembering, but being aware in the moment that, wait a minute, I just saw something that I've never seen before, you know, in my very brethren. So there's some person I think I know really well, and all of a sudden I'm seeing this whole side of him that I'm pretty sure he doesn't see, you know, and that I can see it. And how come I can see it? Well, because I've been praying for him for a really long time. You know that, right? Yeah, we see the really, you know, of course we see the troubled side

[36:02]

of our conference, but we also see perhaps better than they do the wonderful gifts that they have and that they offer community, and for others. So where are we in our agenda for today? Not for me. Oh, well, we better check the time here. 37. Oh, okay. So we've got only about six, seven, eight minutes left. Something like that. Do you want me to put on... Yes, why don't you do that. Well, we'll just do this rather quickly. What, and I'll throw this out right now, in your conversations with your small groups, what did you all come to as sort of the universal qualities of this particular kind of contemplative Christian path? Because some of you came from a long tradition of yoga and everything.

[37:03]

Others of you have come from other places, but what are the universals that are rising out of that? You know what I mean? In terms of goals, possibly practices. Well, I guess we all want to get closer to God. A strong desire to grow closer to God. Would that do it? Okay. Sounds good. Thank you, Leah. What else? I think transformation or incarnation. Great. Okay, good. Another phrase for that is the divinization. Well, we'll do this. So you're divinization, right? Yes. Oh, okay. That's enough. Just to put a D there, Kevin. The D stems from the other seeds, too. Yeah. Okay.

[38:04]

Anything else? It didn't come from our group. I'll throw it out there anyway. My experience with contemplation and with Kamalwis has improved my love of one another. Okay, so a life rooted in love. Something like that. Anything else? I think in our group it was pretty common to think that because a lot of people are really activity and production-oriented in their own life, and adhere to contemplation, there's a different sense of, I guess, point-of-no-reference or even God's love for us, the basis of it not being in activities, our identity. Being versus doing. Being versus doing, for sure, yeah. I didn't make that up. I can guarantee you.

[39:08]

I didn't make that up. Okay. Yes? I believe Brother Gabriel was that? Yes. He was in our group, and he was talking about allowing God to do all this. To me that was repraying that we don't have to follow this set plan or anything, that God will do it through us. Okay, so a total dependence on God? Surrender, yeah. Surrender. Kind of being a vessel. It's not words. Anything else? The word for me that comes up a lot is steadfastness. Uh-huh. You know, just like staying, just... Perseverance. Perseverance, yeah. Our elders in the Greek, Brother Alphonse, they used the word per-durance.

[40:09]

Which is a word you never hear, but it's a thing. No, you don't hear about people per-during, but there is a word. Yes. It's endurance with perseverance. So it's got both the courage in it and also the steadfastness. Yes, that's right. Yeah, we're after advanced degrees in per-durance. Anything else before we kind of close this off? I will be writing 400 questions for you to think about. You always have to have homework before you leave. But this is pretty darn good, I think. Is there anything we left off? Sure, but we've got two more sessions. Early major? No, nothing early major. Okay, well I'm going to give you these questions up here. And these questions are actually taken from the introduction to the book

[41:11]

that we'll be referring to a lot for the next two sessions, which is one that Lee already described, The Word in the Desert. The Word in the Desert. This is the one where the second half of the book. Yeah, the second half of the book. But he says, basically, these are what the Desert Fathers were seeking to answer by doing what they were doing. Okay, so. What did you do to allow yourself to live with integrity? And this is, he means, what did it mean to them, to the Desert Fathers?

[42:12]

But I'm going to ask you to think about what it means to you, too. How could one learn to contend with the seemingly uncontrollable forces that assail one from within and one out, and without? So those are the demons, you know. If you've heard quotations from the Desert Fathers, they were always talking of battling of demons. But I think that phrase explicates it better than just using the word demons. But that's the shorthand phrase that they would use when they would talk about it. Yeah, this is kind of long to write up here. Forces that assail one from within and without. Sorry about my writing.

[43:22]

It's degenerating here. What was the possibility of achieving freedom from these forces in the sense of abiding peace? And then finally, what did it mean to give one self and love? Doubtless, Christy would say,

[44:40]

these are the questions that occupied their minds. So if you're not an expert on the desert tradition, you're going to say, well, I don't know, but they did. But think of it that these are the things, this is what occupied their mind. And these questions should also need to be occupying ours as well. Yeah, and as we come back to these questions, the first thing we'll do in the next session is we'll try to answer these from the Desert Father perspective so that those of you who aren't super familiar with that tradition will then have kind of an overview of what we're talking about, what that project was all about. Because it has been one that has continued to rivet people through generation after generation. I mean, there's something so intriguing about the Desert Fathers, you know, that they have never died and they were only around for a couple hundred years. Yes, that's right. They're in the fourth century, so it's been a long time.

[45:41]

So anyway, and it's because they're asking these giant universal existential questions about the meaning of life. So anyway, is there anything else to say? So if you'll just think about these, again, asking yourself these questions until we meet again, which is five o'clock? Five o'clock, right. Five o'clock. Thank you. Thank you.

[46:06]

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