The Paschal Mystery: Dying as the Way to the Fullness of Life

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Part of "The Paschal Mystery: Dying as a Way to the Fullness of Life"

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#set-the-paschal-mystery-dying-as-the-way-to-fullness-of-life

#preached-retreat

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kind of fun

has spring buds forty hour per views of her
we therefor you know remember
on over there was and from romney's i will either
farmers will remind our hooker him i remember when everyone heard me
la are are my mom
when you know
no my bring down were often
and here from now on me
was not sound like my brain
ran her back and live on tv
ah
okay i thought it would be probably get a quick recap as an easy fact
ah the and without saying everything that had a cat food again
this morning i can finally night for setting that the situation
that i could ever even be caught with the medium wide what is the meaning of life
an order to clarify the meaning of life one must clarify the meaning of birth and death
and we mentioned that have already
happy faces and tried to clarify all philosophies all company
have you tried them up with some kind of isn't one of the meaning of birth and death in order to find the meaning of existence and then we looked at private i off for the fact that christians gravitate far more for the third than than death
and can to avoid the that thing thus the importance of christmas to remember that gave me relief is typically tripoli isn't as important because of the fact that infant baptism was kept the emphasis on birth the beginning of human life because that he had to take a prisoners time and that book the bad news about being
true yeah the church can convince the for friends and family the half the military which is a nephew know
birth and death death when let me get me live
he sent the taliban and the pre-christian like can really and the critically for all for the whole company and he looked at me know how the formation of the scriptures and the whole burden of the church road from that that you that
that that prevented with a life that he forgave him his own content comfort that reveal the significance of his life and the easily but more than have to rely on meaning of life and awful i had some competitive it has affected you life
and then for than that will get my out naturally wedding for that not affect me saturday morning
let's look at daddy done and we started look at this stage paradise on earth not so after death and we might consider carefully but frankly to explore extraordinary for right in them to death and birth
he was revealed
and and thirty can't separate that you keep the two together they seem to find him what the secret with them within the people for my life and then if that he was already have the full significance that sin death be a why doesn't the ability talking about that
that that will be seeing using our icon to see the thicker than the iconography i he asked if the sin death that which seems to and that rights has completely set a boundary from life
not nothing a privilege not the defend sand to know
and lots of in and i
and the alienation and separation from sitting them and the division within the president and between thirty and even what people are major you know and then we looked at the feet on the same path reveal the recent victory over say that five love them before that which they the true that but if the dems
what kind of the know why
classically have always said that phrase by the death he has destroyed them what happened back to a half and seemingly the one who's been destroyed by then quantified that after conquered that he said to another day and so i envy the following is that neither one of the falling faces cinema like
no one be in an extraordinary
he takes the horrors of them in some way to take the power he thought that
and then and he heard a funny guy under the in and i read last time you not been three children that be
he doesn't to send their experiences that it's not as the know if on reality all of humanity but even think that that it is a creation that once in a christian to their of one of view he had all that md
makes a longer an active lava complete surrender and with know how the pilot something for everyone to in the afternoon yesterday looking at the problem five and here
you know what you have difficulty and with love death because we have a fear of sendak because the instead of curtain on
and he said that the great wall the a great power that confirmed that the chemical take away everything it'll be the great amount of law and then jesus and he took the thing about the a program jesus john
currently the bible how much not there will time from there and season
i've encountered that is no walk in that fear and seventy three and deeper significance of that fee
and then let me to today
and i want to start with they can be kind of an unusual talk in some ways but remember i'm just exploring here trying to the may be pushed away from normally think about these things and to think about in a different way it's not expected to be right or wrong
the distinctly different extending the parameters of our normal way of thinking
i had an experience here that was quite an unusual experience for me
two years ago a group of us were going to a meeting and we're going to spend the night at the tassajara zen center in carmel valley we've been planning for weeks and weeks and i've never been i think almost always happy and it was going to be in a part of the a dialogue
in third condition and our tradition and
we left a dark you know what it was five o'clock and and one was still die anyways
the end of august early september and it was still the route is still going on and they were lot of year that were coming down on the road so we were driving and on minivan and was packed we all surprised even though it was early on for months around chatting away by crazy and
a certain point i saw the like hitting are highlighting the eyes of a gear and making you know that red flag look way off to side which was actually the waterside of the going for going north if you just maybe two miles south of settlement and i said oh you know watch out for the beer
yeah i see like a was completely motionless just looking at you were going on public and a a point five miles an hour
well the beer can just as was starting to
get close enough capacity if lunges out what are you beautiful
and ah
the driver but it was driving with a now grabbed the steering wheel to started by the the break and myself was still hasn't looked like there's nothing i can do in the summit the one because want a rendezvous with the car with nothing i can do
and i was in the sea life and time and has been talking to people about kind of being on the edge and ah
ah as a came up to the life
it's i met my eye
and god
seemingly oblivious to about what we're going to happen
and i was really on
who would be the word
how would he help
by the i looking at mine
and then the moment of things happen off the whole time i'm looking at it
have you done
the to be a guy noise and put it on contract
immediately back and never went
the beer died
but there was just
island and heavy activated the fancy to was first of all an experience of the death of our plan
have you been with with in the planning and we knew we clean continue and we didn't think we'd get to get another vehicle and the time to call somebody up we have gets upon all that stuff and we have the anything to see the grief and the different things some of that he seems to seems to talk about that for an own dial
for me or i was still caught up with the here because of that moment of engagement
am i spent a lot of permit plugging in fact that in the later homily i did it come to mind and given prepare preparing getting a homily then
i think of i am packet what was i experiencing i saw myself as both in the car in the eyes of the deal and both reality
and at that point just before impact the car was a weapon i was aware that i was inside a weapon
like a spear of an ancient hunter
about to penetrate
into the game
breaking through the circle of life that surrounded that animal
and about to enter into it and i was that fear
i was dead
confronting life but i was also in the beer life confronting death colliding death colliding with my plunging into life
yeah i was also the year irresistibly drawn to the bright lights
like the dawning son
totally innocent of what lay behind those like them
now the moment of impact the viewer's eyes met mine and i saw absolutely no fear
in the eyes of the gear
no realization seemingly about what would happen
and i saw myself and my own life
on an unknown
yeah absolutely certain collusion with death
and at that moment it seemed like eternity
i was aware that time my sense of chronological time with altered my ordinary sense of consciousness was changed my sense of space reality the normal way by function of time and space with change was extended
we'll gang vigorous by pronounce his name correctly writing in the journal of archetype and culture bringing issue number fifty four ninety thirty three he mentioned the deeper significance of killing for the earliest of hundred
the spear was seen as an extension of the south of the hunter
and thus enabled that self to break through life's boundary
he dead
by with boundary a living organism is completely implode
the hunter does inflicted the experience of death on himself to the hunt for the early history
the while still in life the hundred and flicked it upon himself the experience of them through the sacrifice of the animal and he made this experience the basis of his own no longer merely biological life it was a way of raising his consciousness avoid
adding slipping into the dullness of nearly biological existence
such consciousness expansion require the sacrifice of life as it was known
death past it's bright lights
upon
the sacrifice and distinctive chan
he says if that illuminates as itself mp
and this was exactly my experience with the deal
my consciousness was expanded and both the gear and i was the experience experienced death he experienced a sacrifice life
as the philosopher nietzsche one once wrote quote death improve and sharks life out of the innocence of becoming
death improved and shocks life out of the innocence of becoming
becoming is a sacrificial contact every step of the way
and love is are becoming that's the point i've been making
love that is are coming had a sacrificial
this is why the cross remains the central symbol for christianity
and why the dying price pierced by the sphere
hundred by their peers by the spirit is the very south of the universe becoming whole
and that liberated in love
he a revealed as our image and likeness of the father
how scripture tells us he is a new adam
the first of many to follow he holds all things together in unity he is the alpha and omega he had the sacrificial lamb
and december he heard this morning
and he is my soul
that long for god has for running stream the
the beard and long for one thing
an outward to preserve they shall look upon him who they have kids
the pascoe mystery is about that process of full human realization achieved by crime in which i am caught up calling forth my conscious cooperation and participation
it is the call to a life of total communion
as a transformed and body spirit in a transform material world
the perfection of the human lives and our photo open them
open it to certain extent that we can be full of god he had plenty of snow
the more we are free for god and others and love the more we become person
person is a relational reality of i knew
we
as theologians birthright rights and kind of is to take off from martin buber in his whole read them a cabinet post i doubt theology of birthright called in is only by means of view that the i'd uncovered
one of you
the i was an echo of the new and in the last analysis a resident of the divine you and the flop
pride life and especially his death resurrection manifest for death of his communion and open them
the crucified risen one filled all reality not being limited by time and space does realizing to a maximum degree to be in and for god and others
this required fatima
the guy
henry now and rights and we booked a ticket counter beloved of god
but he writes quote we are called to make a death a great gift
that is the means of every gift themselves culminating in that final gift itself in the final there
dying is the way to the experience of being the beloved of god
it is the way to becoming pure fear that you already are
life is a preparation for death as a final act of giving
but hopefully the combination of a lifetime of increasingly increasingly learning that this year for me
within oneself and a frog
thus through his death and resurrection use of actually strengthen this is a miracle he actually strengthen the bonds of love between himself and his disciple
sinbad is the hearing away that's our experience and a horrible fear that that we about it has that power to take taken from everything a here but love them
what actually season whatever you thought you had and connected with in the flight for absolutely them enough white park and say just because we didn't walk the streets of palestine or jerusalem jesus we are not an inferior position
powerful than those who jesus in the plan because we know jesus in the field
we know jesus in that reality of paper communion with up and with all living reality
what we are speaking up here in daily life the passcode haven't eaten during the day which is human becoming in and with crime an ordinary life it is what some forty horses
it is for you or more that we face death all day long
and we face kinda all day long with one love that
in and with season
what some ninety says make us know more the shortness of our like that we may be read them apart
the question is there life after death is very much the question is thereby before that and is your life kinda
facing death in and with price is facing life fully and selfless love
lake he bought her a blade for you lake once wrote in one of his letters and phone call that the simply moving from one room to another and for them that have caught my attention and and i'm a bottom and seems too casual
but i started to pick about that death is simply moving from one room to another but i would add
death as an act of selfless love
is moving from one room to a larger room
who am i the room to a your room to an ever more expansive room
dying as loving is an expanding process of becoming more and more or sound
as price are christ so
our consciousness becomes more and more price conscious
which is the pure expansiveness of god that's why quantity it's no longer i who live but christ he be talking about an experience of the consciousness
hell
someone else understand that was kinda guy
but love that you say laughter
sorry to tell that then that have the experience as a passive not
and i think the what we all with this to atlanta the bird i and the moment i gonna do whatever they do with a short span of and hot
but the river and a path over to the revelation that he never replicated it was unclear relief when would you say to have an open or whatever the norway
creative and that doorway oddly not become larger and larger is so yummy the wall and many point that a lotta fun
and not a fear of failure and globally in part because he can for on the album by gunfire from we both fell in love with the military funny
the way to say that every moving from one another fourth dimension and life and will we say i was in britain that our editors would become a model for like me for liking and then i that everyone to him for to alive is that everything has leaked by the button
since i'm quite far as think that the policy be of and frankly given a different reality and act accordingly
and you say no that's not reality and that the point of inquiry require the island reality
and that's why paul would love that whole theme of freedom in one of the first of constriction of enslavement of been in prison know that story the recycle them and let out of prison with that really offer a very simple
almond joy of the inner experience of going on in all creation
all doors are being open all attempt to confine reality to restrict reality he can hit up
for the sake of an aquarium i didn't hear the way you think you can have to
i've always loved meister eckhart image of the godhead and wild stallion running free in an endless meadow
never i read about the dumbfounded as had probably an earthy image he can be rather rather abstract that time
once while i was watching the movie man from snowy river
the many things of the wild stallions the bomb these as they call them running free in the meadows and mountains of australia has something deep within
something easily recognize itself and the people
let's put that time he taught me how can i make made that even have begun
daddy's running free in hundred matter
nothing to corralled and back again
in the palm ulysses tennyson right
well i am a part of all that i have met
get all experience in an eye
where through glee that and travel the world
who's margin thing
forever and ever when i mean
how delicate to part to make an end to run on burning
not to shy the
i'm really pleased that i am a part of all that i have met yet all experience is an arch went through me that untrammeled world with margin for ever never when i mean
how it to try to make them any to run on burning not too shy to you
i think to live consciously and faithfully price passcode happen
is to make all experience and art were to believe that untrammeled world
michael day
he resisted way of dying and love philip was self alone in fear is too rough on burning
it is not to sign in
i remember when i was in new hampshire last year now now flying back from europe for you in the month of march which will wake the weather can be back there and done
there was a little bit of a storm and i was flying in from chicago and to manchester airport in the with and snow so little bit of a shaky landing the of the five with it but we might find him and i could see the with really helping snow and outside of a fundamental issue to picking up and find that my my like driving home
but twenty minute driver but he's going for lower because of
you know with with the falling them and how to move a fleet of tankers really that the i remembered with walking up the clock and the earth and hour south of the time so we're well within one mile of the house and it is a passer-by and started to here
the first thing i let out of my locker they are the direction of the spirit you know every easterners have that the burger and i'm not sure no one really have no natural instinct to provide with him to be wrong with know ah but when it happened i could see them and forty five credit report a on third day with hopelessly started to
i like on a dime saw them but of to something to say that and enjoy the ride you know so i i just sat there as
and i was spinning autonomic time and put everything a wife and bristling with the festival at night so there are likely the kind and about odd thing and
it was the most amazing experience
i felt like i was on the threshold of life and death but i would write that the doorway
the and now with death and for a bright year as you get up
the car flipped around my brother thankful for happened say canada and the third much from earth to stuff i had is of vigorously out
when the car industry his academic different from a smaller and for you find me neither the m p three
reality and that was very much the sun i thought i was further than a doorway he praised for room that small them individually and somebody would sit in front of the them
so when the time was not the same of all that felt like eternity and it felt like i was in a beer
but i was dancing with them
an oddly enough there was absolutely no fear
i was cancelled
i was on i would intrigue
and i remember after the car finally been out and hip the snow bag and we couldn't pull out in and and gonna go get someone to help i i felt so on
hi
more alive than i did before whenever he was
what is secure in control i felt all totally alive and happy to answer what the course you are happy you are authentic no it wasn't that kind of experience at all
and bath i wouldn't mind taking the word again
and a young man stopped coming the other direction
then offered help and i felt an incredible one
like i've known him all my life
this instant death and my trusting surrender opened me to a larger reality
it was an experience of helplessness a blessing
both life threatening of life enhancing
the awakened awakening christian begins to see christ pascoe pattern more frequently in his or her own life
and as well in the lives of others
and in the life of the world
and also be awakened christian begins to see their own frequently distances to it
the fear of losing the south with green so tightly v
i remember back there in new hampshire are watching the tv news you know in that time will get it so much about the bosnian situation the visual studio so evil that was surrounded and all that the horrible things and them to read about it on the papers we do fear that and we had
television so to actually see the visual images in the way those things impact you and as one night they were doing it
ah
well of course it was a tape but been lied early about then they were running around the news that night of this young couple a christian and muslim from the city and i kinda for america they were going to he married the very very much in love and they decided that there is no future the can drag on and on there so they wanted to
try to sneak out of the city and they talked to their parents and v
the yeah
ah elders and leaders and got permission to try to sneak out of the city and so they deliberately taking place and then the camera man showed them to the wound that stephanie into the bath moving away and of course they have to go through this area with he called nobody plan and no person plan
meaning and always kind of a danger to the sniper fire and the cabbage has seen them go off in the commentators they want a they left for though they go in there going for better life a kind of human interest story and all of a sudden of course without planning it you see the young man had done
and far besides a woman
and you hear the soft and the conference is this all happened line is something with tony on plan and you see the character but i say and then you see that the young woman of up and fall down beside him and i remember ah
i feel get most of the as i thought i let out a scream
and then the anger welled up on the the sniper you to if he can't know them at first if you don't kill people you know as he had to reduce them to something else
and just to snuff out the other young the almighty for them and it just seems so senseless
that's the surfaces of kinda hepworth the putting it on
and the tears in over for down my and i was there has been sitting on the soft how close the door opens into a scarf and with enough and then i saw the down
her arm go up in the air
he reach out
he embraced him
when i was dumbfounded
rather than being concerned with her own moon
and death
he's the victim of offender and caught up in it
you see love that game
and that's the problem
that's the past compartment
and in that week that is outside to say is a tremendous rain that we don't understand
he really victims and parliament they were more powerful than the sniper and beyond the surrounding series on them from our point of view
and thus the power the world through that he had no and had not been brave
that is the love that stronger than kinda
but it is another kind of death that is another kind of selflessness
and i saw fine
and i saw them particularly this one young woman children making a conscious choice
who love them in the face of cinder
who's that awareness we can consciously choose to join ourselves to this pashto process
and allow it to enlighten and guide all of our decisions and choices and our way of be in the world
he started spending more and more money for more and more material comforts in a consumerist society
i think we begin them to spend our snow in love for that treasure buried in the field that pearl of great heights jesus see images for the kingdom of god
i remember retreat i gave youth retreat i gave many years ago and played called cottontail where malibu malibu canyon
the big group fifty fifty something he to and to
men and women
i had a whole team i didn't see that i was ahead of the key and that was around dynamically keep the time to move the people and open them to possibilities from friday night or sunday and there was this one guy from the high school where i part with an all boys high school that was the so resistant
to the dynamic and a seemingly really bought them and we used a lot of marvel at emphasize the as you have these young people as they have been with them on top of the debit card than fifteen minutes at i at a cliff and
they were frustrated because he was so nice walk couldn't fall asleep you're using sleep as a real defense
of course either the family situation in both the going through a divorce at the time it was very traumatic for them
but he he had a brother there was really
go to the dynamic of receive really trying to open himself to
i love that reality
dying herself in love for other ah
because one experiencing god's love for one felt that way in jesus and finally got to the very end going on and and the people with the so open and i'm happy with that love at that point and see another way of living life beyond the fear and the self-sabotage but not in my dream itself
our by like to do with the time i tried everything you've ever shown me i've been fretting about but he would be crying about it we would need to know every night at the end of the game over everything to having a problem in which case and that and i think i just feel so helpless you know
and finally one of the last phase we will do
after the liturgy of the words of you a massive began to sort of knocking have occurred within alive exactly no church and fifty feet so if you give mean the same place that we have the activities etc for math and they're all sitting on the floor and i was at the other end on the floor they had our family had a low table there and we would call the cops
we used to like the crime so then what had occurred for the math and so then they passed the candle in on with fair what they have learned in the see and all that the going on in a lot of them were he tears because of its opening experience and
and how they felt they had come to understand the meaning of life or death and resurrection his life for them everyone around him for this young man way up the side in the campbell started on your side he's kind of fog out had a half the and i've been on what of be he found another one if anything the camera comes with him and he said that
i know you're probably all can only at me
if will never for not really cooperating and this game and well life is hard for me right now i'm afraid to open up afraid to get her can join going on for perfect everybody almost like me about the family situation africa
he's a get on the only person like to say i've ever loved and left love me and my uncle
and i think he had passed away or moved away or something that that person wasn't there for him and he said the and so i just didn't want to open myself to god anybody else to play it safe he said but
and there's someone here who liked my uncle i've experienced that person's love and is really touched the in this point he started crying because what hockey's dumb to the he waits for the ninth hour and enough and work i fit of what's going on we did i never want to go who who got finally you should touch the first
and and awaken him you know and going on man in into and a precedent father john
i was so caught by surprise but i started eating
it was then a height of the reason but it just so caught me by surprise in my whole sense of failure and that you know i was getting nowhere and of course it's not need for boy but i remember at that moment
i i remember saying
the is dead
i want a job
and everything i made a connection between that flooding of open for love and death
i somehow i i sent to i recognize that has been to do with the path for fabric
that i was ready to die in that moment
that for the christian anyway
that love to self sacrificing love with was passed away
upon our life and actually typical down and give them all
not my fault and safe for me he lead his cries
to die and
you can working
open a rough now for any comments or questions raised my hands and feet and to be ended up between

the time for the corie whalen break and how are you happy while to get and walking from one another
i thought were yeah back door shop will be go back to the kremlin you stand on that he said we're very happy from one the minority and larger and reminded me of being prepared and yesterday he included before you in a month home
you are with your heart with the who are known to be that that you know that you have under to live with in combat
three a nice way for you can
yeah i suppose like the post after immediately after the death of jesus we try to get back into that when knew about one thing where they go back to fishing
how can we pick up where we left on that this time that are allergic to not going to be possible they've been expanded array and that he had will convene for them
timothy
mm
one know
it
yeah good luck of the sense of baby so we tend to use the word we say
you even say the catholic faith we knew the catholic sure to the capital version so we use that word and different senses but at the bible say is not so much in the dark driven through those kinds of things for them essentially it's trusting in a relationship trusting in the our that's what faith is all about and that's why abrahams the prime example
can we really trust
the reality and if that will be put to the path even with his son ivan
why use in the summer festival be done about for talk
nothing family
one hundred fifty nine
we don't have to
ah
and can often hope
the
now hang around and i can actually be helpful in the and we don't
having said
i did not true and never will happen
the one ah
the not that easy
to be silly but it's not a question of who would never having any experience of trash i think we have degrees of it
but what jesus he observed
you see so much greater than those others you know those are helpful but as another a lot of people who don't even have that
what do you tell them you tried to help them
discover this other presence to sort of reality that's always been that
this reality that that with them always loving them and so even if they have no human experience of it mix of harddrive but not impossible makes it harder for them to try to get in contact because if if had the normal avenue guy uses because our human relationship
but there are people who have horrendous
ah childhood you know of abuse and
and they're the ones that i could have a harder time or not blame that on garden your garden and i can cause gotta come from anyone
but it's not impossible you know people rather than with an with to the conversion story and to encounter
across that beyond human
dive into the program can control one
but that's why much that's what i'm going conversion it's realized that my trusty limit with you know
my trusty think is limited and i have to always coconut macaroon room into a bigger one that that the departure of i like that's when you to during such a theory
but without price i don't think they'd be the journey at all it would death and up with completely frame or like and we would do the best we can within that frame about that you gonna pm
for the christian with what on eleven nine to see what happens when you what it's not only and such a versatile that what you will find the box of your consciousness of individual or whether we hear of them
but way
and i'm a futurist congress for the pretty files reveal our future when you are now
and that fighting japan and what happened for the wall
you'd be the one guy the company
with which we block off like out of safety trying to be safe and not get hurt
so are that futures always invading my present largest as i think adults also likely to be on this earth but a short while to learn to be prepared the themes of love and an offense that that's what led to say and he seems a lot of constantly coming my way
both from within myself and from outside of myself my two hands of a powder
i'm in between love there's one on the inside of me pushing outward and his love on the outside and be pushed inward and i am not reality that case
by that
but also they said that trying to save
in a certain ways that's the struggle you know and and not to give in to the other but we caught let the sermon of doing god's will and was recognizing the shaping that's going on and loved them and quietly enjoying ourselves to that party
the movie
the group ah computer we good say to her
a one hundred fifty for
that would rather die for some of them to become will have paper
have said
the earth remotely interactive with fancy ho hum while we're nobody to the market
move him play
have a role that a fight
right right
yeah it's really a deadly choice about how you live
i'm bleeding the faith will be anything
i think corrupt and corrupting than anything that you and your attorney that new doctor know now offering the good when she be i have no control
the you carry and or yeah crepes image around with to the level
in my third
and the fair and the movie was nominated for the lot of them
the wonder if consuming now
you've probably not even thought
for me that much that i love him and i will never get tired
and fell the one of the web now
he said the weather
i'm ready to go with thing i'm going to by the right about
either really happily the i'd have to get an appointment supposed to them in the corner
the by than nothing new
colin
napoli by the bongos revealed something that's true but he i have a normal classes of not like to think about him that is were on a plan that moving and how fast with the planet moving on its active that but it's quite fast but because we don't feel like we were the
car going the to fee will be aware but we don't feel that way so we don't have that we say terra firma ago
and that's not reality and he would start to make everything within the as a the way we visited the city party is a lesson about life i'm on a spin and hundred dollars and and it is also good around enough and so everything is fluid and moving you and it's amazing how we resist that reality ah
and don't feel very secure and that makes your whole just enough that we have to get a sense of failure of further
so i think people have these experiences but they quickly jump back you and they missed a window that opened and they left that how can i bring this makes it more part of the nice but it just happened
but there's more to what life about the nine normally issue
but the universe pascoe pattern is difficult i number of fruit close friend or a mother the children who are very close to the family and
she called me and asked me to come over one day and i was preceded in high school at the time or with another religious community and i didn't know what one to say it's like another what he started to laugh would i get the number of things about our relationship that was caught up in as he saved them all up i never coming up the prepare for it and i felt like i
just was on the prophecies said one male after another you know and i've finally they can see how the path my defense to factor i get through
i got the fact that she wanted me she wanted me to be engaged with her and i put the path of not giving her the satisfaction so
she said for the moment you know issues all sectors night and i was shaking but find out the short and i stood up and i said fine i don't have to sit in take paper i just walk now
got in my time drama
hum
he then send us going on
after death he definitely i'm willing to cut cutter
fortunately i didn't get to block you know
and i when we flatten them as that is just what i needed more
to let this relationship guy that kind of death
and so i go back
and swallowed my pride and and whatever else you know and but that was the paths will experience of dying and choosing another kind of death which could have joined the acronym and tried to talk it out and to deal with my own hurt feelings because she was me
definitely
because we weren't offensive snaps when you're more vulnerable than when but i guess that's what i'm trying the past patterns they're offered is going on the choices are all the time and if nothing other than what central to precipitate the past it's really the heart of everything
and it miss your birth in the perfect and certain that working at all of them so might be going back i died herself in loved that and something he was born between her and i but it was not the last time
that's the life that's our way of life
i never regret the at one fifteen pounds
health and to be upset with your the t and let in fact that the and me enough to have an avenue sidewalk
and how quickly through water
the for a minute for about twenty four hour room that time counted that one
when approaching me
oh yeah
one
currently i'm for you the are now and people who don't in happen and i got hurt people like something you do believe man even better didn't of an early two thousand i'm feeling until you die you die you won't have any way
yeah some others have said that even if what we believe isn't true
arm and a certain sense you can say it hits brings out
ah something that through i think that that in terms of the potential in again
ah so you can say that
but the punic is very important to the whole prison thing stands on that be to
hundred and fifty thousand and five finally got me and he doesn't believe in that he that the perfect and unlikely that the conclusion that you have employees and well maybe that doesn't believe it in a certain way
you know that heaven and and a certain way of thinking about it does she believe in life after death
he's then the first italian
i was not only roman catholic better the best christian that trip over them
friend and then another decided that becoming the german arrived but absolutely that's christian roots in every christian that's the whole christ the by prices written after that the central
so i thought the death of her own personal but it may again be how she'd been taught about him
you know when we're young cousin you have conveyed a kid you have to fight constant basis had to make a place you know like a number of room